Video: Flight, Fight… Freeze? Understanding the Freeze Response and How EMDR Can Help
Let’s get into the freeze response, what it is, what causes it (through the lens of polyvagal theory), and what you can do if you are feeling stuck in a freeze state.
Freeze is one of the least understood and most stigmatized nervous system responses to stress and distress. I’ve observed that this is especially true for women who identify as solution-oriented, problem-solving, high-achievers, or “good girls.”
Fight and flight are very active responses to stress and distress. A problem comes up and you find an answer, maybe you get aggressive, you attack it head on, you keep working at it, you respond instinctively. Or maybe instead you find a way to get out of the situation, you run, you dodge, you make sure you will not be trapped, you change your circumstances. Now these responses may be impulsive, not aligned with your values, and even do some damage but they are active and active can feel powerful.
The freeze response on the other hand is not active. When our nervous systems encounter a challenge or a threat, this could be something as everyday as a disagreement with a partner or making a mistake at work, that feels so overwhelming that our survival mind determines we cannot fight it and win or get away from it our nervous system can go into a freeze response. Do nothing, get still, conserve energy, shut down until the threat passes or something changes. I named some challenges that feel like they should be every day or totally manageable but if you have history of adverse experiences or trauma that has taught you that things like this can escalate and end with abandonment, humiliation, punishment, or other terrible consequences your nervous system remembers those lessons and responds based on them.
Why EMDR Helps When You Feel Frozen
What’s unique about EMDR is that it doesn’t require you to retell your story in detail. Instead, through a gentle process that often includes eye movements, tapping, or sounds going back and forth, your brain begins to “reprocess” traumatic memories. Think of it like helping the brain finish what it started—so it can finally file those memories away in a more peaceful place.
If you’ve been feeling stuck in a fog or freeze response, EMDR can be a gentle, effective way to help you thaw out. Here’s how:
🌱 It Starts With Safety
The first part of EMDR is all about helping you feel grounded and safe. You’ll learn tools to calm your body, reconnect with yourself, and feel more stable—before doing any deeper trauma work. It’s all about moving at your pace.
🧠 It Works Without Words
People in freeze often have a hard time putting things into words—and that’s totally okay. EMDR doesn’t rely on talking everything through. Instead, it taps into the brain’s natural healing ability, even when the trauma isn’t something you can easily explain.
🌀 It Bypasses the “Thinking Brain”
When we’re shut down, we’re not always thinking clearly—and that’s not a failure, it’s biology. EMDR works with the emotional and body-based parts of the brain where trauma lives, helping you gently shift out of stuckness without having to "figure it all out."
💫 It Gently Wakes Up the Nervous System
That back-and-forth stimulation in EMDR helps the nervous system come back online, bit by bit. It’s like offering a warm hand to the part of you that froze, saying: “Hey, you’re safe now. You can come back.”
Healing Is Possible
One of the most beautiful things about EMDR is that it honors where you are, without pushing you to go faster than you’re ready for. For folks stuck in freeze or shutdown, that kind of compassion and pacing can make all the difference.
It’s important to know that healing from trauma—and especially from a dorsal vagal shutdown—doesn’t happen overnight. But with the right support and tools, it does happen. EMDR offers a path forward: a way to reconnect with your body, your emotions, and your sense of aliveness.
So if you’ve been feeling stuck, frozen, or just not yourself… know that there is hope. You don’t have to stay in shutdown forever. EMDR might just be the key to helping you gently wake up and start living again—with more presence, peace, and connection than you thought possible. Interested in EMDR therapy? Schedule a consultation for an EMDR Intensive or regular EMDR therapy!
