How to Do a Daily Parts Check-In (IFS Inspired, Somatically Focused)
What is Parts Work?
I am a huge fan of parts work because it blends so well with a mind-body healing perspective. Parts-works is based on understanding that every person is made up of multiple experiences, past versions of themselves they needed to be to adapt or survive challenges with limited choices and tools, and multiple perspectives that can be in conflict or harmony at any given time.
This is like strands of thread making up a tapestry. When that thread is woven together in patterns or harmony those different pieces make a whole or those threads can become knotted, unraveled, and unwoven creating a mess of conflict and tension.
For example, maybe your grew up in a household full of busyness and chaos when you are an elementary school kid and because you were a kid you had limited options for how to deal with that. So you adapted by becoming very controlling over and focused on anything you felt you could possibly control like your personal possessions, personal space, school performance, and social relationships at school because it helped you feel a sense of power in the midst of the chaos. As you grew older you gained more autonomy and control over your life and even had the options of leaving your house when things got to chaotic and eventually living on your own. But that part of you, that patterns of seeking and focusing control when things feel chaotic, doesn’t go away. It remains a part of you and a patterns that may show up easily when you are under stress or are having trouble coping with a current challenge.
These parts can often show up as:
patterns of response of behavior that you have trouble changing even if they are doing damage
strong emotional responses to situations that may seem or feel outsized
making the same choices in relationships that are damaging to you or the relationship
internal tension where you have two or more conflicting beliefs, desires, or ideas that you just cannot seem to resolve
difficulty making choices because of conflicting beliefs, desires, and ideas
feeling like you are on auto-pilot or out of control of your choices and actions
experiencing disconnection or like you are “not really there” during distressing moments
Once we understand that we all have different parts of ourselves we can focus on understanding those parts, understanding their needs and what they are trying to protect us from, finding adaptive ways to meet the needs of all parts of ourselves, and processing trauma that parts of us may be holding onto so that all parts of ourselves can be better integrated, more whole, and we are more free to show up as our best selves.
Why Check In with Parts of Yourself?
A parts check-in can help you get to know and understand the different parts of yourself as well as help you build the habit or approaching parts of yourself with curiosity, compassion, and a desire to understand instead of judgment. This really helps with the process of figuring out supportive ways to meet the needs of different parts of yourself and building trust with yourself.
How to Do a Daily Parts Check-In (A Somatic Approach)
Grab a notebook or some place to jot down any thoughts or insights that come up during this process.
Get into a comfortable position either seated, laying down, or standing up.
Start by scanning your body and noticing any sensations in the body without judgment. Notice any tension, relaxation, stillness, tingles, cool, warmth, or any other physical sensations without attempting to change them. They are information and insight.
If you are having trouble focusing on sensations you can try saying them out loud like “Warmth in my stomach” or “Tension in my shoulders.”
Continue noticing all those sensations until you find a sensation that calls for your attention.
Let your attention rest on that sensation and as you do notice anything thoughts or emotions that come up.
See if there is any pattern to those thoughts and emotions or any central themes. Jotting down the thoughts and emotions that come up can help. Welcome this part of you to show up and to engage with you. You can say to yourself “Thanks for showing up and I am here to listen.”
Start with some open questions like “What do you need right now?” “What do you want me to know?”
Pause after asking any of those questions and see if any thoughts or emotions come up in response or if there are any shifts in physical sensations. See how this part responds to your curiosity and questions.
If this part of you is responsive you can ask additional questions like “How old are you?” “What do you want to protect me from?” You can also offer this part of you information about current you like how old you are, where you live and who you live with, or your plans for the day.
Give some nurturing touch to this part of you in response to whatever comes up. This could be a self hug, gently touching your face, a shoulder squeeze, anything that it feels like this part would find supportive or you can place your hands on a solid object around you if that feels more in tune with what this part of you needs.
Give some loving or nurturing words to this part of you if that also feels supportive.
If any needs come up see if there are adaptive actions you can take to respond to them or nurturing ways you can meet the needs this part of your brought up.
Jot down any insights that feel important or relevant.
Final Thoughts
This is a practice, there is no wrong way for parts to respond. If you find yourself getting overwhelmed then engage in a soothing somatic practice to bring yourself back to the present moment. If you have trouble connecting with or understanding parts of yourself that is totally understandable and to be expected! Keep playing with this practice and it will come more naturally over time.
